We have all heard of B Face, yes? Well I have the opposite. I have resting pleasant face. It’s actually awful because I am painfully uncomfortable and awkward with strangers, yet my face invites them to speak to me.
I have approximately 9,247 examples of where my resting pleasant face got me into an unwanted situation, but I will limit it to only a few for today… and to make life easier, I will even categorize them for you.
For some reason having a resting pleasant face translates into “Please hit on me, senior citizen.” I’m all about respecting the elderly, but come on…
1. I was waiting to help a group of elderly people onto a shuttle at an event I was helping with. While we were standing there waiting, literally saying no words, this man casually placed his hand on my butt and just kept it there. I perfected the art of the side step that day.
2. While in a store, an old man shuffled past me and said, “You look like my next wife.” Um, no sir. Incorrect.
3. Also in a store, an old man asked me if “I needed a spanking with his cane.” Again, no thank you. I have got to stop going to the store on Wednesdays…
Having a resting pleasant face in no way shape or form means we are best friends. Especially if I am casually passing you on the street, in an aisle at Kroger, or waiting behind you in line at the dressing room.
1. This is a dressing room one. This woman had a TON of stuff to try on. Literally a ton. She thought she needed one more thing so she kind of asked me to hold her stuff while handing me all her stuff and running out the door. I completely buckled under the weight of it all. We are not girlfriends and this is why I shop online.
2. One time, I had a woman ask me to WATCH HER CHILD for a second. What if I was a crazy child-napper?? I couldn’t be though because I have resting pleasant face, right?
3. Mary-Kay women flock to me…I am not old enough for Mary-Kay and do not need it! I need to just hide from the world all together.
These are just general things I hate that do not fit into a category…
1. People sitting next to me on MARTA, the movie theater, or anywhere that requires sitting. There are a zillion other seats and you sit directly next to me?
2. People not believing that I am mad. I shouldn’t have to convince you that you have angered me. “But you don’t look upset?”
3. Getting called sweetie or honey. This is not you being nice, this is you being condescending. Stop it!
Do you have resting pleasant face? How do you cope?